Tragedy in Oklahoma

MediaMom May 21, 2013 In the News, Social & Emotional Development

Parents waiting and weeping, hoping for word that their child may be a miraculous story of survival, but knowing deep down that it’s unlikely. It’s the very real tragedy facing families in Moore, Oklahoma today. It’s the nightmare all parents fear, but most of us will never experience. And yet, it’s a scene they are all too familiar with in the Oklahoma City area. They have been through this before. Devastating tornadoes struck the area in 1999 and 2003, and, of course, the 1995 bombing of the Murrah federal building. Those tragedies have prepared first responders, government officials, and rescue workers. But there is no preparation for losing a child like this. The heartwarming stories of teachers who sacrificed their bodies to protect as many as they could provide little comfort at this time to a parent waiting for word of their child unaccounted for among the rubble. It’s a horror that is feeling too familiar these days, and it shakes all parents across the country.

Watching it all through the TV and computer screen makes it seems all at once both distant and very close to home. It makes me wonder as a parent if it is possible to simultaneously plan for my children’s future and treat every day as if it could be their last. But reality sets in and I know I can’t parent and plan and worry, wondering constantly that they may never see tomorrow. But I can remember to shower them with love and hugs and kisses. I can help them grow to be strong and brave. I can nurture their instinct to live in the moment, to know pure joy, and to dance and sing and jump and run and paint and read and experience life without abandon, while my husband and I look down the road and prepare for their future.

Too many parents in Oklahoma today have been robbed of that future. It is my hope that their children lived full lives, because, like all children should, they lived their lives to the fullest each and every day.

If you want to help the families devastated by the tornadoes, consider making your contribution to Save the Children.

Editor’s Note: When a natural disaster strikes, it can be hard to know the right things to say to make children feel safe. Bright Horizons has provided some ways you can help comfort children in times like this.

natural disaster

Surviving a Kitchen Renovation with a Toddler

RookieMom May 20, 2013 Family Life, Toddler

We are currently in the throws of a major kitchen overhaul in our house. It was much needed – we’ve known that since the day we naively bought our little fixer-upper thinking of all the “fun” we’d have sprucing it up ourselves. After years of planning and saving, we’re finally making it happen which I couldn’t be happier about. However, those years of planning and saving also mean that we now have a toddler underfoot as we tear apart about a fourth of our house which is, to put it delicately, less than ideal. So far, there are some things I think we planned well for and some others we could have planned better:

Renovate during warm weather. We did this mainly for meal planning purposes figuring we could easily grill most nights and thus avoid massive amounts of gross takeout. It has also been awesome because we’re able to keep Liam outside playing at night and even eat outside on the deck, keeping him far away from the craziness inside the house. It also meant we could open windows to air things out when we needed to. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if Liam was cooped inside the house during this whole project.
Buy extra gates. We forgot this one and while it wasn’t a huge problem, it did mean we ended up basically playing goalie on the nights when there was tile setting or other potential kitchen obstacles or dangers. Being able to throw up a gate definitely would have made everyone’s lives easier.
Set up your temporary toddler-proof kitchen. Before we started the project, we set up our little temporary kitchen area like every home reno blog tells you to do. What we forgot is to make sure it was still safe/toddler-proof for Liam. I put our dishes and glasses in the small butcher block cabinet that is basically serving as our kitchen right now and it wasn’t until Liam emerged with two glasses, one in each hand, that I realized my mistake. We had to move everything around keeping in mind what was okay to be within his reach and move everything else up higher. We also try to keep certain snacks that Liam would eat all day if he could out of sight and reach (easier said than done with our current kitchen setup). I didn’t really think about Liam-proofing our temporary kitchen setup before and I definitely wish this is something I had done initially.
Don’t plan to rely on dinners out. We don’t eat out very often and if we do, it’s always on the weekend after we’ve made sure to ~~run Liam ragged~~ get Liam some exercise first. The first night of the reno, we made a last minute decision to go out to eat right after getting home from work. Big mistake. He was cranky after a long day and a long commute in the car and it was not a fun dinner experience for anyone.
Have a last minute escape plan (especially for the weekend). We had planned to stay in the house throughout the whole renovation. How bad could it really be, right? We learned pretty quick that as demo started and deliveries started coming in (and taking over every other room of the house), we would rather be anywhere but here. Thankfully, my parents live close and were thrilled to have us stay with them for the weekend, giving us a respite from the craziness. Liam got to roam free and we even got to sneak out to do some last minute kitchen errands while he napped and played with his grandparents.

So far, it’s been tough but overall we’re surviving better than I thought. And there is definitely a side benefit to doing all this while Liam is little — he finds the parade of guys and tools and trucks coming in and out of our house endlessly fascinating. He’ll probably be sad when all the excitement is over. On the other hand, if I have to wash another glass or dish in a bathroom sink again in this lifetime it will be too soon.

home renovation

Day in the Life of a Working Dad – Part 2

Caty, Blog Editor May 17, 2013 Family Life, Family Routine, Infant, Toddler, Work/Life Balance, Working Parent

Editor’s Note: Andy is a Bright Horizons employee and working dad of a toddler and infant twins. Read about a typical morning in his life as a full-time working dad in his previous post: Day in the Life of a Working Dad – Part 1

1:45 p.m.
I am in-between meetings and walking past the child care center, so I run in to see the twins and snap a couple quick pictures. My wife is still getting used to Cole and Claire being away from her, so I hope these pictures will help.

6:15 p.m.
Pick-up is relatively easy because the teachers have the twins and all their gear organized. It’s really just a matter of wrestling with the car seats again. Yes, a mini-van would solve this, but I am still fighting that internal battle. So far, we’re lucky that all three of our kids are good in the car, and therefore the trip home is uneventful. After the twins and I arrive home, the dishwasher needs to be loaded immediately so that the bottles can be washed and ready for tomorrow. We have what seems like a thousand bottles, but for some reason it is easier to have this set dedicated to accompanying the twins to the center.

At this point, my wife and I are both exhausted but I muster the energy to play with my toddler, Grey, who has just arrived home with my wife, while she tends to the twins. I had been doing the drop-off and pick-up routine with Grey since he was four months old and we were both used to spending that time together. Now that Grey goes to his child care center with my wife while I commute with the twins, this new routine usually limits our weekday father-son time to hectic mornings, dinner, and baths – not always much fun.

Speaking of baths: I’m not sure if this is normal or if Grey is unique, but bath time for him consists of coercing him into the tub (which he never wants to do), washing him, and then coercing him to get out of the tub (which he also never wants to do). It baffles me every night. How can you not want to get in, and then just a few minutes later, not want to get out? Do other people experience this?

8:15 p.m.
Bedtime with Grey is usually easy, and once he is down it is time for bottles for the twins and laundry. Of course, the Blackberry is always nearby so I can attend to any work emails that require replies of no more than a sentence or two. My wife, who is feeling the same working parent guilt with the twins that I feel with Grey, is juggling Cole and Claire to spend time with them while simultaneously ordering food (we eat a lot of take-out), changing diapers, and laying out clothes for tomorrow. Sometimes all at once and more. We also use this time to do some online house-hunting. As I mentioned, we’re currently living in a two-bedroom apartment in the city. It’s time for a house out of the city.

9:30 p.m.
The twins go down for the night relatively easily, but we know that it is not going to last. My wife prefers to take the first evening shift and finds it easier to wake up from the living room couch rather than the bed, so she is winding down on the couch looking for houses on the iPad, knowing that her midnight feeding is not far off. I am catching up on emails and trying to organize the apartment a little bit.

11:00 p.m.
Bedtime for me. I read for a bit and fall asleep as quickly as possible because I know my 3:30 a.m. wake-up call is also not very far off…

Dad Twins

Activities & Sports for Kids – Can there be too much?

OrganizedMom May 16, 2013 Exercise, Family Life, School Age, Seasonal Activities

“My kids are only going to do one activity at a time,” my sister-in-law said this past weekend with much conviction. Actually, she said it with the same conviction I did a few years ago…but look at us now. Clearly I’ve changed my mind. At any given time in the year we are juggling numerous sports and activities: gymnastics, dance, swimming lessons, ice skating, soccer, softball and Daisies. And that’s just for my 6 year old daughter. Truthfully, I wish we could squeeze in a few other activities to see what sparks her interest.

While there are numerous reasons to participate in sports, such as The Top 10 Benefits of Sports for Kids or 10 Benefits of Playing Sports , we started to get our daughter more involved for four key reasons:

Goal #1: Introduce her to lots of things so she can hopefully, eventually, find something she loves and really focuses on without feeling like she’s missing out on something else.

Goal #2: Build foundational skills that will help her with whatever she ultimately commits to.

Goal #3: Provide her with lots of opportunities to build relationships and be exposed to various social groups.

Goal #4: Provide physical exercise (which ultimately means much less time spent watching TV or playing on the iPad).

So are we accomplishing the goals? We are starting to, but it does come with sacrifice. For example, in the month of May & June it has been and will continue to be a matter of choice. Go to a Daisies event or a softball game? Go away for a weekend with extended family or attend the gymnastics and dance recitals? Take a break from swim for a session (which she adores) to play softball?

There are definitely times that I don’t like being so busy driving to and from activities and situations that make me very sad (like deciding to miss the gymnastics recital, which is right up there with swim in terms of much-loved sports). There have been challenges such as being forced to financially commit to a June dance recital back in December only to discover that by March, she’d lost all interest. (Which ultimately led to the difficult decision of forcing her to stick with commitment vs. letting that commitment go.) Overall though, I’m glad we’re exposing our daughter (and our son, just a little) to a variety of activities. Despite the constant juggle and the challenges, keeping the goals in mind, I’m reminded why she’s so actively involved in extracurricular activities. Right now, it’s not too much but I reserve the right to change my mind again.

RELATED RESOURCES:

E-family news: Children’s Schedules – Not enough, too much, or just right?
Online Community: Over-scheduled kids?

Children's Activities Children's Sports

Teacher Appreciation Food Ideas

NourishMom May 15, 2013 Holidays, Recipes

Each year, Owen’s center organizes a Teacher Appreciation breakfast and lunch where parents sign up to bring food. I love that they make it so easy for parents to say “Thank You” – especially since I’m not especially crafty enough to make homemade teacher gifts.

This year, the infant and toddler families got assigned breakfast. “This is going to be a snap,” I initially thought. Until I procrastinated on the sign-up sheet and all the “good” items were covered – coffee, juice, muffins, sweet breads. So I went where many people go these days to find great food ideas – Pinterest!

I love the ease of kebabs (skewered food) for these kinds of events. They are fun, playful and easy to serve. Here are my favorite breakfast (or any time) kebab recipes:

Rainbow Fruit Kebabs
French Toast Kebabs
Mini Pancake Breakfast Skewers
And for the chocolate lovers (me!) – Brownie and Fruit Kebab

Prepping kebabs can take some extra time. Here are my favorite “serve yourself” breakfast recipes:

Yogurt Breakfast Parfait
Egg and Veggie Muffins
Bacon, Egg & Spinach Pizza
And I love soft pretzels for every occasion – Sourdough Soft Pretzels

Of course I was last minute on this so I went with the basic Fruit Kebabs. I still got a lot of compliments on what a good idea it was. Thank you, Pinterest, for making me appear more organized than I actually am.

Editor’s Note: All month long, Bright Horizons is celebrating Employee Appreciation and the teachers and staff who bring education to life. Write about your family’s experiences and let us know how a teacher or staff member has inspired you. The website will be open for messages through May 31st.

Pinterest recipes teacher appreciation month teachers

Teacher Appreciation Month

ProgressiveMom May 14, 2013 Parent & Teacher Partnerships, Preschool, School Age

May is Teacher Appreciation Month. I didn’t get my children’s teachers any gifts or handmade artwork. Instead, I am writing them each a letter, and sending it not only to them, but to their bosses as well. I think there are so many small things teachers do that make a huge difference to not only the children in their care, but the families as well, and I’m certain they don’t hear about them very often.

To Ben’s preschool teacher,

You turned things around with a sticker chart. A sticker chart. After what felt like (what actually was) weeks of poor behavior and bad reports, you spent your own time creating a sticker behavior chart for Ben. You knew that I was at my wit’s end; that I had no idea what else to do to help Ben have better behavior at school. We took away television (his most favorite thing), we rewarded good behavior with lots of praise and gold doubloons. We tried earlier bed times. We tried what felt like everything and none of it was working. And then, one morning, you asked if it was ok to start a sticker chart with him. When he came home with that chart full of stickers for the day and declared that you had created it “just for him”, I knew we were dealing with something more than just boredom at school.

I knew he was feeling jealous of his brother’s charts and picture schedules and all the other tools we need to get him through the morning. When he asked for one for home, I immediately said yes and things have been going much smoother all around. Because instead of being annoyed with Ben, or simply writing him off as a bad kid, you took the time to come up with a solution and try to help him and we are all much happier for it. So thank you.

To Max’s teacher,

We moved…to another state…because we were so jaded by the public school system. We were terrified of what Kindergarten would be like and prepared to fight for what we believed in every step of the way. But when you returned my email, during the summer, saying you wanted to meet Max and us before school started so he’d be more comfortable, I knew things would be different. When you asked questions about his epilepsy and previous school experience, I knew we were with the right teacher. Because of you, Max is comfortable in his own skin. He is starting to know how to make friends and cheers when the bus comes around the corner like every day is the first day of school. I know that I can email you that he had a bad morning and I’ll get one back in return that afternoon saying he had a great day. I know that you hold him to the same standards you do the rest of the class (and even email me photos when he meets them), but fully understand his struggles and make accommodations when necessary. You are firm and gentle, you are silly and stern. You are everything a kindergarten teacher needs to be to help the children in your classroom successful, and the parents of those children have faith in a system that may have let them down in the past. I don’t know that you will ever fully understand how monumental this year was for our family.

I hope you are ready for another one of my kids, because you can bet I will be requesting you for September 2014 when it’s Ben’s turn to walk the hallowed halls of elementary school.

Kindergarten preschool teacher appreciation month teachers

Make Every Day Mother’s Day

MediaMom May 13, 2013 Family Life, Health & Wellness, Healthy Family, Holidays

Yesterday was no different from a host of other Mother’s Days. We celebrated mom. Put mom first, gave her breakfast in bed, or flowers, or a day at the spa, or jewelry, or relieved her of her parenting responsibilities for a few hours. And it’s a big deal. Americans will spend an average $170 per mom this year, for a total of $20.7 billion dollars. Why? Well, because moms, whether they are working outside the home or not, whether their kids are six weeks or six years, 16 or 60, are overworked, overtired, and always sacrificing big things and small for their kids. And that’s the nature of motherhood. But I think moms this year need to give themselves a gift.

Think about all those things you have done for your kids and ask why you wouldn’t have just done that for yourself alone. Maybe it’s simply embarrassing yourself with failed attempts to hula hoop in the front yard, or actually wearing a bathing suit in public so your kids can enjoy the pool. Or, maybe it’s something bigger like getting potentially life-saving weight loss surgery like Governor Chris Christie (yes, I know he’s a dad, but it still holds…), or finally breaking out of a house of horrors like Amanda Berry.

Kids give us courage to do things we wouldn’t otherwise do. And that is one of the most wonderful things about parenthood. But all moms, and dads deserve to be silly, and confident, and bold, and brave, just for ourselves too. And while the roses, and cards, and chocolates and massages are all nice — living life to the fullest is a gift we can only give to ourselves.

Mother's Day

Picture of Mother’s Day

RookieMom May 10, 2013 Holidays

My husband has been asking me for weeks what I want to do for Mother’s Day. Do I want to go out for brunch? Breakfast in bed? A day of pampering? What could he and Liam do to celebrate? The truth is, I don’t really need or want much fanfare. I’m not a huge fan of “hallmark holidays” like Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day. Sure, I still celebrate them, but to me other than major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, there are now only two occasions a year that truly deserve some serious planning and celebration — Liam’s birthday and our wedding anniversary. Still, I knew he wanted to do something for me for Mother’s Day and I think I realized exactly what I want.

A few weeks ago, I found myself looking through the thousands of pictures we have taken since Liam was born — there are just so many cute ones. Pictures of Liam by himself, with various grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, and family pictures of the three of us. It struck me how few pictures I had of Liam and me, the last of which was months ago, a long time in this little guy’s life. I guess I’m so frequently the one taking pictures that I’m not often in them, and when I am it tends to be the more formal family or group shot. The most recent one I could find is below — Liam had just turned one! So for Mother’s Day this year what I want is simple — a mother son picture that I can frame and put on my desk at work. I think it just might become a Mother’s Day tradition.

What do you really want for Mother’s Day this year?

Mother's Day

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