I was positive that Owen was going to be a girl. My mother’s intuition was dead on when Olivia was born so why would it be different the 2nd go around? I was actually in shock when they held up Owen and there was the unmistakable sign that I had myself a boy. That lasted about 10 seconds before I was crying with joy about the newest member of our family.
My husband and I didn’t care either way about gender (or at least that we admitted to each other!). We had been trying for 2.5 years to get pregnant and this miracle is going to be our last. So really, we were getting what we got and we definitely were not going to be upset either way.
So it sort of pissed me off when I was chatting with an acquaintance last week and she said, “Now you have the perfect family – a girl and a boy.” Trying not to be confrontational but also wanting to make my point, I simply replied, “It would have been a perfect family whether I had a girl or a boy.” And then promptly changed the subject.
Afterwards, I got thinking about this stereotype of what is considered the “perfect” family when it came to gender and years between children. We didn’t have a choice with either and I’m glad about that. To me the perfect family is exactly the one that I have. After only 3 weeks, I am starting to not remember life without Owen. He is a “perfect” addition to our family and, so far, big sister agrees.
In preparing to write this blog, I found this NY Times blog about a UK study and their findings on the make up of the happiest families. It’s pretty interesting read. What are your thoughts?
I couldn’t agree with you more! I have a “perfect” family of a girl and a boy, but that doesn’t make one I grew up in – with 5 girls and no boys — any less perfect. I couldn’t stand it when people would find out I was one of five girls and then say “your poor father” — and neither could he. And there are many perfect families with one children, 9 kids, or none.
Agreed. A perfect family is one that loves and supports each other no matter what. It is not defined by age, gender or numbers.
Sometimes people are so rude without thinking it through. I have twins and I can’t tell you how many times I heard “double trouble”. My usual snarky reply was something like, “I’m sorry your kids are trouble…mine are pure joy.”
I have one husband, one human child and lots of hairy animal children. I am constantly hearing from others,”When are you having another one? That would make it even and perfect.” Can you imagine, “even and perfect?” People are just dopey sometimes, and Ruth is right, they just don’t think.