I was visiting the Honest Toddler blog and decided it might be therapeutic for me to try to get into the head of my toddler — the one who hasn’t given us a full night’s sleep for a couple of weeks now. So I asked him “What gives with this waking in the middle of the night thing, and why have you suddenly decided to be difficult about going back to bed?” Here’s what he had to say, I think:
First off Mama, perhaps you should focus on the fact that I gave you many many months of mostly uninterrupted sleep, because I’m told that it took my sister years and years before she did that. So actually, if you think about it, I’m quite advanced. It all started in a really scary way. I had a bad dream. I can’t remember exactly, it might have been about a doctor sticking a pointy needle into my leg, or that super grouchy face on my sister stuck to her permanently, or that big kid in my class took my favorite ball. But whatever it was, it was terrifying. And then you came, and that was awesome. You’re very cozy and warm and quiet in the middle of the night. You and I just got to hang out. Just the two of us. That never gets to happen in the day. And I thought, hey, we should do this more often. I must have messed up the evite, because when I sent the signals the next night, Dad showed up instead. But that’s ok. Because he’s warm and cuddly in the middle of the night too. And even though his face is scratchy, he made up for it by giving me a nice warm bottle of milk. You see, he thinks I can’t fall back asleep without a nice warm bottle of milk. Perhaps he can cc you on that memo. And those were two of the most awesome nights of my life. So why not keep a good thing going? But then you guys went and switched things up on me. Did you have a meeting to run off to, because I can’t imagine why you would leave me in my bed with bars all around when you can see perfectly well that I’m crying, unless you had a really really good reason. The next night you and Dad must have turned off your ears. I think you should talk to Santa about getting some listening ears, because I was screaming really really loud, and you still didn’t seem to hear it. In fact, a visit to the ear doctor might be in order.
And then, during the day you keep saying you’re too tired to do stuff with me, and so I keep trying to make nighttime appointments, because by 2:00 am, I’ve already logged in 6 1/2 hours of sleep, haven’t you?