My “Aha” Moment as a Mom
Looking back, those early days seem like blur of 2 AM feedings, little (okay, zero) sleep, and constant doubts as to how I was royally screwing up this precious baby boy, but in that haze there was an “aha” moment, a much-needed bit of clarity that came from a wise woman who had walked in my shoes twenty-eight years prior. To this day I will tell anyone who will listen that her words were my saving grace, yet they were so simple: “Put your pride aside, Marisa, and just say ‘yes’!”
In that moment, it was like a light bulb went off in my brain – I had spent the last three months being offered assistance from loving family and friends yet I had spent that time convincing myself that I could be super-mom – I could surely find a way to “do it all” – yet doing it all in reality meant burning the candle at both ends and leaving little time for myself, my husband, and much less – my sanity. That tiny bit of permission was all I needed to re-assess my priorities and come away realizing that I could have it all and yet I didn’t need to actually do it all.
My “Aha” Moment: I Didn’t Have to Do It All…Myself
So what did I do next? I practiced saying “yes”. I held tight to the things that were important to me, I asked for help when help was needed, and outsourced tasks that I didn’t need to personally tend to. Here are my top 4 tips for maintaining sanity in those early days:
My Top 4 Sanity-Saving Tips:
1. Leave the groceries to the professionals. Yep, I said it – grocery shopping is so 2015. (ha!) There are literally hundreds of grocery delivery services out there where you can order your groceries from the comfort of your couch (or the baby’s rocker at 3 AM) and they show up at your door step the next morning. Goodbye hour-long grocery trip – hello $5 delivery man tip and one happy mama.
2. While you’re online ordering – get those diapers and wipes delivered, too! Hello, diaper (wipe, soap, everything) delivery, my new best friend.
3. Find your “mommy tribe” – You could walk through this journey alone, or you could put yourself out there and connect with the hundreds of other moms right outside your front door who are knee-deep in dirty diapers, breastpumps, and sleep deprivation, too. Check out Aili’s post for great tips (and a few laughs!) on making mom friends in your thirties!
4. And if you do nothing, nothing else, just practice saying “yes.” We’ve all been there – let your neighbor pick up milk at the store when she offers, allow your mother-in-law to throw in that overflowing pile of laundry, and let your cousin send dinner.
These moments of infancy, toddlerhood—and childhood as a whole—are fleeting, let’s vow to spend time on the things that matter most… and let others help us with the rest! (…because eggs taste way better when they show up on your door step, anyway.)
What are the to-dos that you happily outsource or let other people help you with?
I’m a thrill-seeker by day, yet homebody at heart, reveling in quality time spent with my two-year old son and husband of five years. Master of building forts and picking up perfectly-cooked toddler meals that have been thrown on the floor, I strive to find humor and grace in the balancing act of being a working mama and wife.
Do you want more tips on how to handle the challenges of being a modern parent?
Use the below player to download, follow, and listen to Episode 2 of the Bright Horizons Family Matters Podcast: Making Modern Family Life Work. Click here to learn more about the Bright Horizons Family Matters Podcast.
- Read more posts written by Marisa including “But Why, Mama?” When Your Toddler’s in the Why Phase
- E-Family News: Work/Life Balance: Managing Stress & Making Time for Yourself
- From the Family Room Bloggers: Read more posts on family time, being a working parent, and work/life balance