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Children’s Birthday Party Etiquette: Is It Ok to Bring Siblings?

Children’s Birthday Party Etiquette: Is It Ok to Bring Siblings?

Say what you will, but neither of my children have ever had “friends” birthday parties for kids before. We’ve always done something to celebrate with family, but we’ve never done anything with family friends or just friends from school or daycare. I know I can learn a lot about children’s birthday party planning from any of these posts, but to be honest, I just don’t have the energy to plan such elaborate birthday parties for my kids.

This year, since Ben is turning 5 and it’s the first year that it seems like everyone in his Bright Horizons Kindergarten Prep class is having a children’s birthday party, we decided to bite the bullet and throw him a party. Since I’m 7 months pregnant and have seen the light about hosting a party outside of the home, I’ll be letting My Gym do all the work this year (going against my prior thoughts about birthday parties).

The one drawback to having birthday parties at a party location versus the backyard is the attendee limit. If you have over 20 kids, you have to pay extra per child. Originally Ben didn’t even have 20 kids on his list (no, I didn’t make him invite everyone in his class), but as the day grew closer to send out the invites, his list grew. Now, as people are beginning to RSVP, two different people have asked if they can bring younger siblings because they don’t have other care for them. One did offer to find a sitter if necessary, and the other offered to pay for her child, but I was just kind of taken aback by the request in the first place.

Is this customary? I would never have considered bringing Ben to a party that Max had been invited to. I realize I’m fortunate to have family that could watch him if neither I nor my husband was available, but I guess I would either say Max couldn’t attend or I would see if another family could bring Max to the party. So far only one child isn’t able to attend (and about 10 more only have three more days to RSVP), so if everyone else shows up, that second sibling would put us one person over the 20 child limit. I feel funny about making her pay, even though she offered.

Have you run into this in the past? What would you do – say no to siblings, have the mom pay, just pay the extra $25 myself? And don’t get me started on the parents who have not responded yet…

Editor’s Note: This article was first published in 2014 and has since been updated.



  1. Organized Mom May 26, 2014 at 10:37 pm

    First, we’re waiting too. 7 people still haven’t responded and they were supposed by now. Very difficult when counts are due to the place AND you want to have party favors done by now. As for the sibling… I’ve been on all ends. I have once taken money from a mom because she sort of shoved it in my hand in the craziness of the party and since I had other kids/parents calling for me, I couldn’t really comofortably tell her not to pay. I actually appreciated it though because as you said it IS very expensive.

    I had one party at my house where the mom asked if her older daughter could come. I said “sure!” but I added that I hope her daughter wouldn’t be offended I didn’t have a favor for her. Needless to say, the favors had names on them but this girl had the same name as another party guest. It was pretty awkward chasing them down the driveway because her daughter took the party favor, leaving another girl (an actual guest) in tears. The mom felt AWFUL.

    I’ve also brought my daughter once to a party she wasn’t invited to but the place was open to the public and we had a membership card so I figured while my son would be at the party, I would pay for her to play. Needless to say the parents had about 6 less guests than the party covered and the staff at the place told me not to waste a “punch”. I felt awful when the party staff suggested my daughter come in on their party dime. Needless to say, I was quick to pull her right after the fun so she wasn’t present for cake/favors.

    Needless to say, you’re not alone. I do think there’s a way to say “we’d love to have your ‘2nd child’s name’ but we are limited to the number of guests we can have so can I get back to you as we get closer to the party to let you know if there is space?” Hopefully by then the parent has made other arrangements or offers to pay. In which case I don’t think it’s inappropriate to take another parents money for this situation especially at $25.00 a person!

    • Kris-Ann (Progressive Mom) May 27, 2014 at 9:18 am

      Totally agree Mary. I should say that over the weekend I was thinking more about this and I guess what surprised me was not that they asked to bring siblings, it is that the parents expected their younger ones to participate in the festivities. I understand lack of child care and needing to bring both children, but expecting them to actually participate in the party is another thing. So far we’ve had two people RSVP no, so that equals out the siblings and I’ll avoid the awkward paying extra conversation. Hope your party invites RSVP soon 🙂

  2. Mom of Two May 27, 2014 at 10:21 am

    I have two girls, aged 2 y/o and 10 months. Recently, my older daughter was invited to her first birthday party for a friend of hers from day care. It was at a local gym. I know she really wanted to go, but I didn’t know what to do with my 10 m/o since my husband was going to be away. We recently moved to a new state and have no family nearby and no babysitters identified yet. I asked the hosting mom if it would be OK to bring my younger daughter, too, and she was OK with it. Perhaps because the baby is so young, she wouldn’t be participating, just crawling around on the floor. The hosting family also has a baby the same age, so the two of them played together. I think it worked out OK but didn’t even think I may be putting this mom/family out. I will definitely be more aware moving forward – it wouldn’t be my intention at all. I think sometimes things just get lost in the craziness of life as a mom of multiple kids!

  3. Media Mom May 28, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    Good luck on this one. I’ve had people ask to bring siblings and I’ve had others bring siblings without asking. I’ve always accommodated them all, but I think if the sibling is old enough to participate and they are not close family friends, it’s a bit much to request or expect, but then again, I understand the juggle.
    Another option though, given that they’re 5, is that you could offer to let the parents drop off the invited sibling and then come back for pickup. That becomes pretty standard starting in Kindergarten, so it’s not that far off.
    And we’ve been to a couple of My Gyms. They’re pretty well designed to prevent kids from escaping!

    • Jodi Lumsdaine May 4, 2016 at 12:11 pm

      Rude and presumptuous. If it’s a childcare thing that is one thing (and that should be communicated if possible) but otherwise you should let your invited child enjoy some time with his/her friends and not saddle the party giver with additional gifts. If every guest brings one or more siblings it balloons the headcount and that’s not cool. I am dealing with this now in prep for my 5 yo’s party on Saturday. I’ve just been telling people that it depends on whether or not we have space for everyone who was invited and promising to let them know on the day if there is space. Most people have actually seemed completely fine with that response.

  4. V Sorensen May 28, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    I think it’s perfectly appropriate to ask to bring siblings. I know which of my children’s friends have siblings around the same age, and I always keep them in mind when planning my numbers. I’m not sure how you can you think to allow them to come, but not participate. That seems really mean to do to a child.
    Maybe I’m more understanding because I have no family nearby, and I know how hard it is to always have someone available to watch the other child. I make a couple of extra goodie bags just in case. The lack of RSVPs is really my pet peeve.

    • kay June 2, 2015 at 9:17 pm

      I think its rude to take siblings or even ask to take siblings to a party that they were not invited to. I have a 4 year old and a 5 year old. My 5 year old daughter was invited to 3 parties this year. Her name was on the invitation not my sons. I know if I asked if my son could go most would have said yes because they don’t want to be rude but I don’t ever want to put someone in that situation ever! The party is for that child and their friends. I wouldn’t want to tellmy kid watch out for your friends baby sister on her bday. If the person is your friend they will tell you if all your kids are invited. But if you only know this person because your kid has the same class as theirs and you really only say hi and bye to them, then get a babysitter or don’t go. Parties are already a lot of money without people bringing their whole family.

      • HSuh February 2, 2016 at 10:47 pm

        Agreed!!!! It is horribly presumptuous to expect another person to pay additional costs (and prepare extra things) for someone that’s not even invited. Hopefully no one is so rude as to do this at a wedding… Why would you consider it OK for anything else? My son’s 5 year old party is going to end up costing me close to $400 because of all these extra guests. It just does not seem right/ fair to be put in such a position.

        If you personally don’t mind, good for you. Open the doors to your party but don’t put that on someone else. That is not proper etiquette and seems downright rude to me.

    • Belle December 2, 2015 at 9:13 pm

      I think it depends on circumstances. In any circumstances, asking to bring an extra assumes the host can provide extra food, extra materials for activities, and most critically- extra supervision. It assumes they can wiggle around a facility’s limitatins or pay for extra children. They may be able to slide by with only one or two extras, but one or two extras can make a big difference (ask any classroom teacher). Beyond one or two it’s just rude and inconvenient to a parent who wants to enjoy their child’s special day.

    • Sandra Silverman Holguin November 22, 2017 at 3:57 am

      I think its terribly rude to just bring along the other siblings. Your other kids were NOT invited. To even ask if it is ok puts a burden on the party mom. Like you are trying to just push your way in with all your kids. If you don’t mind doing this at your kids parties then go for it but stop feeling like your other kids are entitled to attend a party they are NOT invited to. If you dont have a sitter then bail out on the party. Unbelievable how some moms are today. Theybthink all their little darling have to be included. Did the parents of these mothers never teach them proper manners? And if you don’t RSVP and just show up anyways you will be turned away. I am not making party bags and paying for NON RSVP people. Such rudeness. I write on the invitations that the “invite is for ONE guest only, sorry no siblings”. I have never had an issue with this with my kids parties or grandkids parties. I had an older brother. NEVER would my mother have pushed me on to a party he was invited to. I have 4 kids and never sent their siblings as tag a longs.

  5. Joann June 12, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    With my daughters birthday party I placed on the invitation “Siblings welcome” I knew which children had siblings and I added that into the final number. I live in an area were most of the people have moved from different areas. I understand that you may not have outside care available for other children. I do not think that the parent should be offended by the request. If you need to say no then say it and move on. Just remember that one child may not be able to attend because they have a siblings. Is that fair?

  6. Charesa July 9, 2014 at 9:28 am

    I think that you should just expect that people are going to bring other guests to a party. If you were invited to a co-workers birthday party you wouldn’t leave your spouse at home would you? If you have a problem with accommodating them at a location due to costs keep the parties at your house or at a local park. There is plenty of simple, fun and cheap entertainment you can provide in your own home for a child’s birthday. I personally think that birthday parties these days have gotten way out of control with how much families spend on “extras” when the kids would have just as much fun playing games instead of getting matching party favors.
    The more the merrier!

    • Sunny January 6, 2015 at 12:08 pm

      I would love some ideas for cheap b’day party option for winter babies, if your home is not big enough.

      • Kalen May 15, 2016 at 4:17 am

        Same here. No way we could have a party at my house – especially not with siblings when 2 families we know (and I) have 5 kids each. All but one of mine have birthdays in autumn/winter and even in May the weather is too unpredictable for an outdoor party.

        I normally welcome siblings if it’s in a hall where we don’t pay per head, but in a play centre I expect them to pay as normal visitors.

    • Mary April 19, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      I totally disagree with you! If I choose to have my daughter’s party at a location other than my house, it is my right and I do not need to include all siblings. A parent here had a good point, they can drop off the child that was invited and come back to pick them up. If everyone would bring their sibling, the party would get out of control.

  7. Patt July 9, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    I have a 3-1/2 year old boy and 1 year old girl and always take my 1 year old to the parties her older brother is invited to… And I bring my husband too. I see other families with multiple children at these parties also and never thought it was inappropriate to bring my daughter! For my son’s birthdays I always expect siblings to attend. It sounds mean not to let a sibling attend.

    • Jen March 10, 2015 at 9:48 pm

      Wow! I can’t believe how rude people are feeling entitled to bring as many siblings as they see fit. The party is about the birthday child and them celebrating with their friends, not attendees family members. It is costly (even at home) to add extra guests and the more kids the more chaos. IUnless you are a close friend or a family member, either drop your child off, or don’t attend if you don’t have someone to watch the other kids.

    • Kalen May 15, 2016 at 4:21 am

      I’m not as mean as some people abou this, but your husband… Seriously? Let your husband take your son (I see a lot of dads at parties) and stay home with your baby.

  8. Camy July 22, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    I say the more, the merrier! If you cannot afford to have it at a gym then don’t. I would never expect someone to leave their other children at home. That is so strange to me. You need to know which of your son’s friends have sibling that will be joining and try to budget that way.

    • Loren April 1, 2015 at 6:41 am

      It’s a birthday celebration and absolutely the more the merrier. Agreeing to let someone bring siblings and them not letting them participate is just mean spirited.
      Making favors for all except the sibling is just passive aggressive. If parents can’t afford some incidentals like and extra child or extra goodie bag, then perhaps they shouldnt have the party outside the home.

      • ExpatMumOf4 June 16, 2015 at 7:31 pm

        How fortunate some of you are to be able to afford all the siblings who might want to come! So you think that unless a child’s parents can afford to host an unlimited number of children at a party, that child shouldn’t be allowed to have that party? My goodness, that’s a privileged perspective. A child should be allowed to choose who to invite to her party, first of all.

        Second of all, what terrible etiquette to teach children that they can bring anyone they want to a party! Drop off a child, sure. Observe from the sidelines, sure. But to expect that all your children be included and paid for just because one was invited? How rude!

        • Jodi Dolo September 19, 2015 at 9:55 pm

          I agree! How rude for people to think it’s okay to rack up the party bill by bringing children that are complete strangers to your child! How am I supposed to know how many siblings each of my child’s classmates have? $25 for each additional child is crazy! It’s easy….. ask the host (which the blogger was asked), find care, or don’t go. And the blogger also mentioned she’s 7 months pregnant. I have a small home that can’t accommodate a lot of people and I wouldn’t be able to afford $25 extra per child (or rather, I’d rather put that money towards a gift for my child, vacation, paying off debt, etc). I’m shaking my head at the suggestion of NO party because a parent can’t afford to pay for a child’s classmates’ siblings? THAT is mean spirited!

        • Dew Drop January 21, 2016 at 11:11 pm

          Agreed expatmumof4!

      • Sandra Silverman Holguin November 22, 2017 at 4:09 am

        Really?? The parent shouldn’t have the party outside of the home if they can’t include ALL the siblings???? What a bunch of entitled moms. And yes, it is fair to include ONLY the invited guest. Kids need to learn they don’t ALL get a prize and that means they are not always invited along with the party goer. If I had a parent try to sneak up with the siblings their child would never be invited again to my kids party. Even at a house party, if the parents wants ONLY the invited guest it is her right and its not being mean to exclude siblings. Get a sitter or decline the invite.

    • Dew Drop January 21, 2016 at 11:08 pm

      Camy, Absolutely not! So you are saying that I should know how many of the 20 children in my daughter’s class have siblings so I can budget for them too? I’ll be doubling or tripling the guest list. Are you mad? Holy Moly. My daughter is inviting her classmates, not their siblings who she doesn’t know.

    • Tara February 18, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      I wholeheartedly disagree with you! I have 4 girls that are all very close in age. One year my twins had a party at Build A Bear. I invited their friends. One mom asked if she could bring her THREE other kids. Absolutely not! That would have been an extra $75! If I had allowed every sibling to come to the party, it would have been in the thousands. Also, my girls were not friends with the siblings – they were much younger. Why would my birthday girls want toddlers at their party? Find a sitter or drop the invited child off. That’s all there is to it.

    • Milka June 2, 2016 at 10:17 am

      It is not about not being able to afford it, but the fact the place has a max on people attending. I would hate to exclude actual friends of my daughter because someone is bringing all the siblings!

  9. Heather September 26, 2014 at 6:30 am

    I am having this dilemma as well. My 3 year old is attending a new school and we invited her entire class to her 4th birthday party. So far 2 people have RSVP’d out of 15 and the party is the day after tomorrow. Since it is a new school with new friends, we have no way of knowing which friends have siblings to be able to budget for them. I don’t want to leave any child out, but, I’m also concerned that since no one seems to RSVP anymore, that we will have most of the kids show up AND bring siblings. This is the first party we have had at a pay-per-child venue, so I’m kinda stressing out about this a tiny bit.

    • Sandra Silverman Holguin November 22, 2017 at 4:13 am

      Why would you inviter her entire class????? You should have invited her top 10 or so friends and call it a day.

  10. Kim December 20, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    Having the same issue. Where we are going it’s $25.00 a child. So if 4 extra siblings show up that’s an extra $100.00 right there. I always ask if my other sibling can come. We threw a party where we had 15 rsvp and then had 22 kids show up. We did not have enough food and it cost an extra $150.00 on the spot. I really wish people would rsvp

  11. Ramona December 26, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    Each child should have their day. Siblings should be taught to deal with that appropriately. You are the one being selfish if you think someone should make their child’s party revolve around your needs.

    • Dew Drop January 21, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      I agree, Ramona. I just take my invited child to the party and my other child spends quality time with dad. They need to know that not everything is for them.

  12. carla December 30, 2014 at 2:30 am

    I totally agree with Ramona. Children should learn that some events are for their sibling and some are for them. That’s like saying every time my child goes to a birthday party and we buy a present, we should buy one for our kid as well. Each kid has their special day with THEIR special friends. I shouldn’t have to have my party at a park because you want to bring your whole dang family.

  13. Alexis January 10, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    It’s gotten to the point that I either invite the siblings, too, or I just don’t invite that kid at all. Last year, we had a kid attend my son’s birthday party and brought a friend of his along. O.M.G.

    I never take my other son to a party his brother has been invited to – I make other arrangements, or I drop off the invitee and take the other somewhere else.

  14. Christa Curtis January 15, 2015 at 9:23 am

    My daughter is turning 6 and my son is turning 3 this year, both in February, so they are having a combo birthday party (the first of many to come, I’m sure!). I’ve kind of narrowed it down to inviting girls that are my daughter’s age (from school), and boys that are around my son’s age (mostly from a play group I help to manage). I’m hoping this will also cut back on anyone feeling like they need to buy 2 gifts.

    I’m actually in a somewhat different boat: is it polite to be a little more pointed on invitations? For instance, Christian is a friend of James’s and is 2 years old. He has twin 4 year-old sisters. Is perhaps saying “we hope Christian can come celebrate with James!” a little too marked? Agh! And then, if the mother does RSVP and request the siblings, IS there a polite way to say no?

    I also have friends that have kids that I love dearly and we see them all the time, but neither is really close in age to my son. One family has a 1 and half year old daughter, and a son that’s almost 4 and a half. So neither really “go with” the two age/gender groups, but I would really like them to be able to join the fun.

    We live in a pretty close knit military community away from family as well, so bottom line I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I also just can’t handle 40 or 50 people in my house right now!

  15. danielle January 19, 2015 at 11:42 am

    I think it’s tacky to invite siblings when it is at an establishment. they know it cost extra! .it everyone has an extra 200 to throw down because you don’t have a baby sitter. politely decline or get a babysitter. I don’t mind infants coming but that’s about it. I wouldn’t take the money though …too awkward. I’d just say we have limited room and say no or pay up.

  16. Michelle Scotti March 24, 2015 at 5:25 am

    I think it’s crazy that so many people consider it rude to request or even expect that a sibling would come. I guess I’m lucky in that the majority of our friends have 2+ kids and none of us really think to plan a party without considering siblings. One friend was having a mygym party and due to numbers she politely stated on the invite that drop offs were fine but siblings could not be included (4 year old party). Don’t dance around the subject, just be direct.

    • Olivia May 31, 2015 at 11:31 pm

      It IS rude. Say you’re having a party at a pay per child venue and invite 20 people, and any extra people that show up are an additional $25. Now say that of the 20 people, 10 of them bring sibblings without asking if it was okay. That’s an extra $250 you have to spend that you weren’t expecting, not to mention the extra food cost. If you’re going to be bringing your child’s sibling, not only should you ask first, but you sure as hell better be bringing 2 presents. Birthday parties are EXPENSIVE. You can’t just bring uninvited people and expect it to be okay.

  17. Kristen May 10, 2015 at 12:30 am

    I am having this same problem. My daughter is turning 7 and she has never had a party, like her friends have. all the parties I have been too, its 25+ kids because of siblings. I just can’t afford to include the siblings but I don’t know how to politely say, invited only. especially when i also have a 5 yr old daughter, so there are siblings who are her age. Its all very awkward and my husband and I have different opinions about it, which is why we probably won’t even have one, to avoid the situation all together.

    Any advice on how to politely say, invited only? or should we wait till we can afford the additional fees?

    • Christa May 11, 2015 at 11:21 pm

      Kristen, I definitely appreciate your situation as it was the exact same for me. I ended up individually addressing the invitations and specifically mentioning the names of each child that was invited. When I would call or Facebook message a parent to get an address, I mentioned again “Hey, JAMES has an invitation for CHRISTIAN to HIS birthday party!” which helped avoid my saying “Christian’s older sisters are awesome, but we are unable to invite them.” I only had a couple of parents that asked about siblings, and I just politely said we’re hoping to keep the guest list down to those invited and they were both understanding. Thankfully also at this age, a few parents even dropped their kiddo off.
      Annoying sidenote: two parents DID bring the siblings, without asking, and the younger ones weren’t so much a bother as the parents were are around to keep an eye on things. But 2 were older boys and I had closed off the back part of the house to keep everyone where the party was at – and these 2 boys (around 9 and 10 years old) had to be told multiple times to not go into the back hall and snoop around in the bedrooms. And the mothers were not doing anything to help. Grrr. I wish I had said something, but I was just trying to keep the party fun.

    • Michele Whitman November 17, 2015 at 11:33 pm

      Kristen, I can’t believe that you would rather not give your child a Birthday party then to deal with who and how to invite! Just clearly state on your invitation that parents and siblings are welcome to pay the admission and join the party. And if its at your home just put a note that Drop off is okay, because Although we would love to have siblings joins us, unfortunately we are unable to include them this time, thanks for understanding.

      I personally would rather be made aware of the situation then to ponder if I should ask if I can’t find a sitter would it be okay to bring my other child if I pay for he and I.

      • Sandra Silverman Holguin November 22, 2017 at 4:23 am

        Why would I have to make you aware of something that is commen sense?. If the invite is for ONE child, common sense says bring that ONE child, not the siblings. No need to ask. If you can’t find a sitter, decline. The arrogance of some of these parents. Makes one not want to even have a party for their kids.

  18. ann ramirez June 2, 2015 at 6:02 pm

    If more than one child in same family attend a birthday party, should each child bring a gift?

  19. MrDad June 4, 2015 at 12:50 am

    It’s a Birthday Celebration, The more children the better, I can understand people being rude and not using the correct RSVP method for Siblings but to just exclude them is incredibly mean spirited, I know when I have parties for my children I invite EVERYONE, as long as you let me know who is coming I can accommodate, and if you just show up with extras, then the fault lies with you, I always give plenty of time (around 30-60 days), for all you know the siblings your turning down could have turned into life long bonds of friendship that you have thus shattered, my Sons best friend is the sibling of a child invited to our part years ago, if I would have stuck with some of the closed minded advice here my son would not have that friend

    • Anonymouse April 22, 2016 at 1:54 am

      “The more children, the better”… if it’s on someone else’s dime, right? 😉

      “for all you know the siblings your turning down could have turned into life long bonds of friendship that you have thus shattered”? Well, geez Louise. Life would be all too exhausting if we thought of every casual acquaintance as a potential “lifelong bond of friendship”. How naive!

      Most people can’t afford to invite anyone and everyone, and even if they could, not everyone would want to (nor should they); there’s nothing mean-spirited about wanting to celebrate a day with *friends*, and friends only. “Mean spirited” is putting someone in the awkward position of dealing with a clearly uninvited guest, when, for all you know, they could be working on an extremely limited budget to begin with.

  20. Crystal June 9, 2015 at 10:20 am

    Parties do cost a lot especially if it’s being held someplace else other than your home, and I know everyone wants to make their kid feel special & if you want to throw your kids party at a high priced venue, hey that’s your prerogative, just don’t complain about the stuff you already knew might happen. You know what to expect! I personally would never drop my kid off at a party, you can’t trust anybody these days & I don’t expect anyone to watch my kid…I think if you know a kid has siblings & you want to invite that one kid, your crazy to think of leaving the siblings out, just don’t invite them to your over the top birthday party, we don’t invite classmates or friends kids to our parties, we have enough family to pay for & would rather have the people that actually care about our kids there. I’m not going to be worrying about watching somebody’s dropped off kids & being responsible for them, or stressing about how many extra mouths I have to pay for…

    • Sarah June 21, 2015 at 3:32 am

      Crystal it’s not crazy to invite the kid and not the siblings, when I was younger I never went to parties my brother was invited to and vice versa. The party isn’t for siblings, it’s for the friends/family of the birthday child not a family outing! I recently had a 4th birthday party at my house for my daughter and invited 12 in total, 4 of which asked if siblings could come and I agreed because I didn’t want to look mean. It came to the day and they were a no show after me buying extra for party bags, extra prizes for games etc and extra food I even made some favours myself which I had to make extra and I’m actually very annoyed because my number was on the invitation and they didn’t bother to say they weren’t coming! And YES it still costs money even at home! I bought lots of extras FOR siblings that wasn’t even necessary and they didn’t even come! So from now on I’m either having a drop off party or if I’m ever asked again they shall get a polite no.

      • Mary July 2, 2015 at 9:50 am

        Omg! If you are rude enough to bring the siblings, then you better be prepared to pay the extra 25.00 per child you bring. When you go out on family outings do they only make you pay for one child? No! Stop being rude and pay for your kids! Kids are expensive! This is not a free ride…leave your kid at home….parents shouldn’t be there either…seen too many parents making pigs of themselves and they’re always the ones with the cheapest gifts! You know it’s wrong. You’re just cheap! Now cut it out! If you’re name is not on the invitation…you are not invited! That includes you too parents!!!

        • Keri July 2, 2015 at 10:39 am

          Mary/all, let me ask – when do parents stop going to birthday parties? I have two kids, 2 and 3 y/o, and so far all birthday parties we’ve been invited to have included the parents. But maybe this is b/c of the age of the kids, and they still are potty training, etc, so may need help/eyes on them. For those with older kids, when do the kids start going alone? or is it on a case by case basis, as the parents of the birthday child indicate?

        • MissyYork July 2, 2015 at 3:30 pm

          Since when do children become adults at Birthday parties? This is something new to me…? Minors dropped off at parties! Alone? Unless your family you shouldn’t be inviting kids to come to your home alone where there will be a lot of other guest, it’s not the same as having a kid’s friend over for a couple of hours. Age does play a role in parties, but unless they’re older teenagers I don’t know or understand what kind of parents would want to drop their kid’s off alone at a birthday party or what kind of parents expect to have all kinds of kid’s over at their home for their child’s sake. You know you won’t be watching anybody else’s kid the same as your own, maybe your just doing it for the gifts!

      • Dew Drop January 22, 2016 at 11:15 am

        Well said, Sarah!

  21. Gina July 26, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    I think the appropriate thing to do is just ask if its Ok to bring siblings. You have to remember that every family situation is different, just because a child is your sons class does not mean that their family have an similar economic background as yours so saying people should just hire a sitter may not be an easy task for some. If you can’t afford the siblings then just be honest and say so, and then invite the family to just drop off and pickup the invited child if that will be OK with them.

    • Emily October 31, 2015 at 3:58 am

      This. Single mom here with two preschool-aged children – the oldest at a big preschool and the youngest in a home daycare. No family nearby.

      With school and other activities, my oldest child has been invited to a birthday parties 2-3 weekends out of each month. Close friends have included my youngest child’s name on the invitation. I struggle with this question every time there is an invitation from the big preschool where people don’t know us. I go online and check out the venue and the prices to see if it is a general fee or price per child. If the party cost covers many more children than in the class, I just ask if I can bring little sibling: “quick question – are siblings invited? No worries if your party numbers don’t allow for that!”

      Sitters are expensive. Understand that by the time we buy your kid a gift, gift bag, card, +pay for a sitter for the other child, the cost of attending your kid’s birthday My be $50-70. I can’t do that very often. There’s no harm in asking if siblings are welcome. If it is any extra cost to you, just say no. No offense taken.

  22. Tara October 2, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    For myself, I love children and have 3 of my own. Kids and siblings are always invited to parties and I would never turn them down. I don’t have family close so I have no other alternatives for sitters. Children are a blessing and not a curse. If I can’t bring my other kids, I just don’t come.

  23. Brandi October 8, 2015 at 11:59 am

    I’m amazed by the amount of people who think it is OK to impose their other kids on someone else! See, I have an 11 year old daughter and we are having a ‘party’ at a local pumpkin patch. The kids are off school so I got a campfire for 20 people and told her she could invite her friends and I invited some family members. Had a parent call today RSVPing for her daughter AND her younger brother and her…I’m sorry but I find it rude. I don’t care what you background is, if you cannot afford a sitter and do not want your child to attend without you- don’t come. Having a party for my child and her friends does not give you the right to impose your other children on me or my child (who by the way, did not invite your 5 year old). Whether or not I can ‘afford’ your extra kids is not really the issue; don’t even ask because unless specifically invited- the invitation was not for anyone other than the child it was given to you and a supervisor if needed. It is tacky and rude

    • Dew Drop January 22, 2016 at 11:22 am

      Love your comment, Brandi!! Perfectly said.

    • Michelle February 2, 2016 at 11:48 pm

      Hi Brandi. I’m just wondering what you said to this person who rsvp’d for her other child? I’m having this same problem right now. My son is having his 6th birthday party and invited some friends from class. I got a text message from a parent saying…”RSVP for “name” and his sister. Hope you don’t mind. Thanks.”‘ I found this so rude and don’t know how to reply!! How can people just RSVP their siblings without even asking?! Any advice? Thank you!

  24. Michele Whitman November 18, 2015 at 12:15 am

    Everyone is different so The main thing I’ve learned is Just Be Clear From The Beginning People!!!

    Put a note at the bottom of the invitation that parents and siblings are welcome to attend or (welcome to pay the admission if at a venue) and join the party. And if you don’t want siblings just put a note that Drop off is okay, because Although we would love to have siblings joins us, unfortunately we are unable to include them this time, thanks for understanding.

    Personally I think the more the merrier, and I always make it work!!:)

    And to everyone who thinks I’m laoded and can afford huge parties think again! The key is to get creative and order $5 pizzas and make a cake or cupcakes for a few bucks, and have 2 liters with cups for drinks to save a ton of money on food. To save on goodie bags just buy one dollar store item per child and let them pick out of treasure box on their way out (trust me they will love it!!)… This will cost you $20 for 20 kids where goodie bags could run $50 to $75 for 20 kids! And make a pinata with your birthday child or let their older siblings make it for almost no $, and all you have buy is a $15 bag of candy to fill it!

  25. Lola November 23, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    I had a mom RSVP and included the sibling and it puts us over our limit and will cost extra. Should I blow it off and just let it happen or should I politely message the mom and tell her we are well past the limit and can not accommodate a sibling? She didn’t even ask if it was ok she just added one extra to the RSVP

  26. Organized Mom November 27, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    I would email the mom and let her know that you noticed she rsvp’d for the child you invited and that child’s sibling. And then let her know the party is only for child x. Something like, “Hi Jane, I’m so happy that John can make Andrew’s birthday. I noticed you rsvp’d for Tom to come as well. while John would love to have everyone at his party, we’re limited on the number of children we can invite. I hope Tom understands. It’s always so tough with siblings! See you on Saturday!”

    I think it’s all in how you position it. I’m sorry you are in such a tough spot!!

  27. Nina December 7, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    Reading these comments really confirms that everyone is different and coming from different places… It is impossible to know what the hosts is thinking or expecting unless that person is direct. Please be direct. I have daughters who are 17 months apart… And I have struggled the question if I can bring the other every time a day are/classmate had a bday. My husband and I work 50-60 hours a week, and if I am taking one to spend 3-4 hours at a fun zone, I am taking the other too IF I CAN. That being said, I have brought the other, and offered to pay every time. I suppose now, I wish I would have forced the money in the hand. Etiquette varies in each culture, sociology economic background, and community. When I was in the military, it was a tight nit community, and of course all were invited. With my large Hispanic family, of course all are invited! But wow, I feel so awful and want to plead apologies to all the party’s my kids have been to when the other came too. For our parties, I always thought the more the merrier, it takes a village right. I appreciate the RSVP, but regardless it always works. I am a social worker, and talk to people all day, but more and more I can’t feel comfortable knowing which way is up or down with my kids age school parents. Wow, I just decided, no more school birthday parties for my kids- both ways. Too much drama and judgement, I had enough of that when I was in school.

  28. Ivanny December 12, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    I am stunned that a lot of people think it’s rude to have siblings over at a birthday party. Everyone have different tradition in how to celebrate a birthday , some people have tradition to bring the whole family over including a husband in tow or nannies. Like a Christmas party or other party that you are invited ,you would bring your special someone along or your family along. Now days people are getting offended so easily , it’s a birthday. When making plan for a birthday , they are never a perfect plan , there always something happens along the way . That’s why you always have a back up plan . I do agree they should rsvp. I have never been told to never bring only one kid, they have always included the sibling and even my husband. I guess now days people are confused on what celebration means . Nobody ever expect a kid that get invited to having full belly once they leave the party, it’s about they are having fun. So even if you have foods that’s isn’t enough, trust me many parents that will be there will understand and they will not touch any food until every kids have their food.

  29. Anonymom January 7, 2016 at 2:07 pm

    At least they had the courtesy to ask beforehand. I once invited a little girl to my daughter’s party and she arrived with four additional children, three of whom my daughter did not even know. The mother said nothing about the uninvited sibling and cousins and acted like she was at an all you could eat buffet. This bothered me because I had made my daughter whittle down her guest list for the sake of affordability and there were others whose presence she would have enjoyed more. Right now I am trying to plan my son’s party at his dream locale but might have to consider something else because inconsiderate people could easily make the costs double or triple.

    • Anonymom January 7, 2016 at 2:12 pm

      Oh, I forgot to add that the gift she brought was one of the items that I had placed in the children’s favor bags.

  30. Dew Drop January 12, 2016 at 6:02 am

    I can’t believe all the comments on here about people thinking it’s okay bringing a whole family/siblings to a classmate’s party. It’s s classmates party meaning the invited is the classmate of the birthday person. It’s not okay to assume or even ask for siblings to come. If a child is young, of course one chaperone (mom or dad) can accompany the invitee. If the child is older, then dropping off can be a good option. If you can’t get a babysitter to watch your other kids, then don’t go. I don’t want to hear the “we don’t have family here”, I don’t have family here either. Suck it up.
    Save bringing your entire family to the parties that you all are invited to like a family’s party or a close friend’s party, not someone from school. I don’t bring my daughter to my son’s classmate’s parties and vice versa. Not only is that time special for the invited child, but for the other child, they are learning that not everything is for everyone and they can use that time to spend quality time with the other adult that isn’t going.
    These comments are f*cking ridiculous. You all sound like your entitled. Well, I guess that’s the new society, the Entitlement mentality. Sorry not everything is for everyone.
    Growing up, my mom always took me or dropped me off to a classmate’s party. My dad didn’t come, my siblings didn’t come. As a matter of fact, no one’s siblings came. It was JUST the birthday kid’s classmate’s and close friends, THAT’S ALL! Save bringing the entire family to your neice or nephew’s party or even your BFF’s kids, where most likely it IS a family party.
    I had a party for my daughter in pre-k with specialized activities. I thought the mom’s were bringing their daughter’s. My husband was actually gonna leave with my son and take him to the Aquarium for daddy/son time and then droves of families showed up. It was awkward. I had nothing to host the men. I had kid’s snacks and drinks and party bags enough for her classmates. Then people in the neighborhood were like, “I thought you weren’t having a huge party, I thought it was just a kid party with just kids from her class. Things do get out of control.
    The next time you get an invite from your childn’s class mate, most likely it’s for your one child and ONE chaperone.

    • Not So Nice Mom January 15, 2016 at 10:41 am

      Love your comment! I wonder if there is a polite way to say just “Mommy and child party” or some variation to suit the situation or if the party is held somewhere to state that the child capacity is met so it hints that no extra kids allowed? I like the way you think, so if you have any thoughts, please post! I can use some help!!!

  31. Not So Nice Mom January 15, 2016 at 10:36 am

    I can understand how sometimes people are in a bind and hoping they can bring a sibling would help out, but keep in mind that doesn’t mean it’s the polite thing to do. Would you ever bring an extra person to a wedding? I cannot believe some people say that if you can’t afford to pay for the extra people than you shouldn’t have the party. Why should I have to spend extra money on people I do not know, that my child does not know? That’s ridiculous. That seems like just a way to show off what that parents wants.
    One of my son’s new school friend has FOUR younger siblings. I do not know the parents, my son does not know the siblings. The party is filled to the max and I am already anticipating I will have to pay for two extra kids at $20 each. So should I have to cancel the party becasue I do not want to spend and extra $100+ for people my son and I do not know if they want to all come? That’s more food, more goodie bags, and to be honest, not a new lasting friendship since I’ll already be annoyed (okay, so I’m not being nice).
    Close friends are a different story, becasue we know them and all their kids are invited. I had one friend who brought her baby, which is totally fine since she was nursing, but then she brought her mom to “help” and her teenage son to “help” as well. We are willing to pay for a nice party, but we are not willing to pay for people who just have no manners.
    Another time a friend came and her husband walked in with their daughter who was invited. She on the other hand had her niece, and she told me she had to watch her and that she was just going to drive somewhere with her until the party was over. Obviously to guilt me into inviting her since there was NO reason why they couldn’t just stay home or take their other car to go somewhere else. But instead, they show up at the party and “will drive around somewhere until the party is over”.
    Things happen, exceptions happen, but people should just keep in mind who is and who is not invited and that you KNOW when you ask if you can bring an extra person, you KNOW you are putting that person on the spot to say yes.

    • Brandy Milburn Ranly November 5, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      Exactly the kind of party my kids nor myself or husband will even attend. I would feel uncomfortable bringing my child to such a party. I would take the invited child and drop them off if it is a place that’s equipped to do so, with staff watching kids for safety and if they’re up on security only allowing children to be picked up by a designated person at the end of the party. On the other hand someone’s back yard or better a public place such as a park or the skating rink I would probably stay with the uninvited sibling but not take or ask for anything of the party host/hostess unless something like a treat bag or piece of cake is offered. I’d pay our own way too. I had older siblings of my son’s invited guest at the 6 year birthday party we had at the local public park. It was the last themed party with our own handmade piñata that I’ve had and it was the first. Only 5 of the children from his class showed up so I was over joyed to see siblings come too. They were well behaved and didn’t hog anything from the candy from the piñata to the cake. There was plenty and we had left over treat bags and cake to take home.

  32. Dew Drop January 21, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    Not so nice mom, I’ve had that happen to me. A family showed up with three cousins. She said, “Sorry, I had to baby sit!” That infuriates me. I don’t understand how you get into these situations. If I had to babysit at the last minute, I’d have my husband bring out kid to the party so I can babysit.
    I was just thinking about wording for invites.
    “Please RSVP by such and such day if your child is attending”
    It doesn’t say “children” or “family”.

    • Not So Nice Mom January 22, 2016 at 10:31 am

      Oh I like the way you suggest wording the invite. So simple, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. I may even go and put “Please RSVP by such and such day if -insert child’s name- is attending”

      At least go through the forced courtesy of at least a heads up, even if it still putting a person on the spot.

      I am ok with emergencies and exceptions sometimes, things happen, but geez, 3 cousins? come on! You get the Halo of Year Award! Ha ha.

      • Dew Drop January 22, 2016 at 3:43 pm

        I was actually making invites last night and wrote it this way:
        “If your child will be joining us,
        please RSVP to so and so
        @ phone number. ”

        You know if I bring my daughter or son to their respective parties, I just kinda linger in the backround with other adults just watching my child take part in the festivities.

    • sunshinestatemom July 1, 2016 at 12:52 am

      I did this and put let me know if you and your child can make the party….The mom responds, “Johnny, myself and his sister will be there!” WHo does this? why not ask and why assume it’s okay to bring a 10 year old to a 4 year old’s not okay and I want my child and his same-age classmates and younger to enjoy the indoor playspace we booked not a 10 year old, who is past the age limit, and would interfere with the young ones enjoying the age appropriate playspace. I since texted the mom, “we are happy JOhnny and you can make it. sorry for the confusion, but we aren’t able to accomodate siblings.” I never heard back from her. do you think she will show?

      • DJ July 5, 2016 at 10:49 am

        No she will not and should not. I’m not going to rearrange my family’s weekend schedule for another family I’m not close with. Birthday parties often add unnecessary hassle to a weekend schedule as it is. Keep in mind that everyone doesn’t think your party is as high a priority as you do and nor should they. It’s a privilege to have guests give up that time to spend with you and celebrate your child’s birthday. I’m sure there’s a ton of other things they could be doing that Saturday. A mom told me she had limited funds and my younger son couldn’t attend her child’s party BUT she was the one constantly calling to see if we changed our minds about attending because her party spaces weren’t filled and she still had to pay. Make up your mind. I already didn’t want to go because we had plans later that afternoon but that sealed the deal for me. I can plan my own weekend I would rather not have to attend dozens of children’s parties in addition

      • Sandra Silverman Holguin November 22, 2017 at 4:39 am

        I would be thrilled if she didn’t show up. Last invite to that house.

    • Brandy Milburn Ranly November 5, 2017 at 2:52 pm

      Kind of assuming everyone that has kids are married?

  33. DJ March 20, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    So, you want to throw a party to celebrate YOUR child but need other families to make arrangements to accommodate your family’s budget needs? I think that sometimes (because we get tired and our lives are busy) we forget to be good people. Why do you expect them to pay to get a sitter? I’m not a huge fan of bday parties as weekends in our family are already busy enough. If you can’t afford the party in a way that’s both convenient to you and your family AND your guests, then don’t have one. You’re not doing them any favors by asking them to give up a Saturday afternoon and find time during the week to go buy your child a present. It sounds like many people here agree with you but I think that it’s just a Princess mentality and it’s sometimes good to hear another side. It’s not a wedding it’s a voluntary party you decided to throw so that your child could have fun with friends. It seems so odd that this isn’t obvious given the fact that many of these guests don’t know you personally and have no obligation to rearrange their family’s schedule to accommodate you. What if they can’t afford a sitter? Would you rather none of your child’s friends show up? Do we owe you to show up? I always begin party planning with a list of children and ask around to see who has siblings. Not everyone gets invited but I make that decision on the front end rather than have awkward conversations that end in silent pouting because a mom has multiple children she’d rather not tuck somewhere while the other ones have fun.

    • Sandra Silverman Holguin November 22, 2017 at 4:47 am

      Sounds like you have the Princess or entitled attitude. I have no problems with my grandkids parties. I am inviting ONE child per invite. If a parents wants to come with the younger invitees thats fine. Little Johnnys younger sibling is NOT invited. Get a sitter or decline. Funny, I have no parents declining and they mostly all show up without the younger siblings. What is wrong with this generation who feels every child must attend. Did this happen when you were kids?. Did your mother force your siblings oto a party where they were not invited?. If you are working 50 or 60 hours a week, just decline and spend time with your own children. They need you more than my kid does at her party.

  34. Patricia Aguilar March 22, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    I’m planning a birthday party at Glozone (lasertag plus other games) and paying $30 per kid for a 2hr unlimited access to the games. Glozone is also open to the public and even adults can participate so I was wondering if there is a nice way to say in the invitation that siblings and even adults can participate in the games but at their own cost since I have limited the number of my son’s invited guests. I was also planning to get a ticket style of invitation that says admit one and add their names to the back of the invitation and if they have a sibling that is invited, I will include two tickets with their names. I was planning to include the headsup to extra siblings and adults about their option of paying at their own cost as a separate card with the invitations. Is there a nice way of saying this?

    • DJ March 23, 2016 at 10:28 am

      That’s a very nice gesture! Maybe something like”

      “Glozone offers great fun for all ages so please feel free to make this an afternoon out for the whole family! Game cards start at $30/pp”

      Or something along those lines. Just informational, not pushing them either way. Think what you would want to know if you were planning to take your family out for an afternoon of fun. Make it less about your kid’s party and more an opportunity for a family to kill two birds with one stone. If they must attend a party with their child for a few hours on the weekend, maybe they can enjoy family time, too?

    • Judy March 23, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      Perhaps you can put on the invitation: “Admission for *Name* Only”? You can only try. Good luck.

  35. Amyc April 26, 2016 at 11:59 am

    I’m having the same problem. We are having a party at the horse stables. It’s $15 per kid. I’ve already been told by 3 people that they were bringing the siblings. What we thought was going to cost an expensive $300 is going to cost much much more than. And then the cake we have already ordered will not accommodate every child. Also, the treat bags. If I had known that it would cost much much more in the beginning, we would have never planned the party.
    If my daughter is invited to a party, then her brother stays home with someone. If no care is available for him, then she simply won’t go. I would never burden the hosts with my situation. My daughter is allowed to have her own friends without her brother having to tag along. It’s absurd to think that wherever she goes, he goes. It’s not fair to her and not fair to the party host. He understands that she goes to school and has friends and that one day his day will come when he’s older. So, for those who think it’s ok to bring your uninvited kid, then don’t be offended when they don’t get a cupcake or treat bag.
    Lesson learned, never again.

    • Anonymous May 23, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      This has been an issue for us as well. I threw a backyard party for my son who was turning 5. Two of the kids invited had older brothers (9-10 year olds), and both those older boys showed up, without asking me if it was ok. I have a little swinget and those 2 boys took over the swingset (almost knocking over some 4 year olds several times), demanded on 2nds with cake, and took the majority of the candy out of the pinata. It was very uncomfortable.

      Both At least for some of you, the parents asked if it was ok, which opens the conversation. If the kid is old enough, I think a good thing to offer is “you are welcome to drop off your son/daughter and pick them up after the party”.

  36. Jenny June 3, 2016 at 10:48 pm

    Just this. If someone asks if they can bring a sibling(s), and you don’t want them to, please just say ‘no.’ Saying yes to ‘be nice’ is not fair or nice. No one wants you smiling at them at the party and then writing nasty things about them on the internet. Most of us would be releaved if you did say no so we’d have an excuse not to attend our 500th birthday party that summer. If you say yes, own it, enjoy the siblings and treat them like every other kid at the party.

    • anahi June 4, 2016 at 10:40 am

      Best comment on here Jenny. Not only are people offended by someone bring a sibling, but they are also offended by having someone just ASKING. I have family parties, where everyone is invited. I’d rather have all cousins and my friends children and family than daycare kids just because they are in daycare together. But when my kids are older and have their own friends, IF I do something where it’s a price per head, like taking then to the movies or laser tag or idk whatever people do for birthdays. I’d rather have a parent ASKING than just bring. I don’t get offended if they ASK me, why would you get offended by someone trying to be polite ? I really think it depends what kind of party it is. Obviously people have never been to a Mexican party

    • Sandra Silverman Holguin November 22, 2017 at 4:51 am

      Maybe it would be nice if you did NOT ask to bring a sibling along. What a concept. You are just trying to put the host on the spot. Very rude.

  37. Luke Yancey July 20, 2016 at 9:36 am

    Your situation of whether or not parents should be allowed to bring all of their siblings to a party is a little bit controversial, but I think it depends on the situation. I would say to have your child pick a list of people they would like to invite that is 75% less than the maximum people you would like to allow to the party. Trust me, younger siblings (or older) will come. It happened when I was growing up too. I hope your son’s party went well and it wasn’t too crazy!

  38. Celine Cather September 1, 2016 at 11:46 am

    I have read the article and the comments and cannot believe that someone even turned up with some cousins as well as siblings… Which planet do those ppl come from? As for ppl who don’t RSVP and show up with full brood… Well it’s beyond comments for me.

    Really, the more, the merrier? Not so simple. I’ve been to parties that were so overcrowded that the poor birthday child burst into tears, and one mum said she had to leave early because her baby couldn’t settle due to overstimulation.

    When it comes to siblings, yes sometimes childcare is an issue. Yes, you have to bring the breastfed infant and no you shouldn’t pay a sitter just because of a kids birthday party. However those are no reasons to abuse someone’s hospitality. In that case you have to negotiate. I personally wouldn’t get offended if someone asks to bring a sibling and offers to pay, but you are allowed to say no if your child really doesn’t want a two year old at his or her big day. It’s perfectly OK, you can offer for the invitee to be dropped off for example. If no solution can be found you can decline the invite, that’s Ok. Ppl keep saying about giving up one afternoon for a party but you don’t have to accept all invites!

    As someone else said, when I was a kid it wouldn’t have occurred to me to have my younger brothers tag along when I was enjoying a party with my own friends. I wouldn’t have chosen to attend a party full of younger boys with them either. I guess it was a totally different time…

  39. LS Josie WB November 3, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    I say “no”.
    The event is planned (financially and otherwise) for the birthday child’s friends, classmates, etc.
    Also, from personal experience as an older sibling — each child needs to feel special. Let them go to events, separately. They need that. Period.
    Also, asking “Oh, can little Johnny come too?” puts the mom in charge in a very awkward situation and THAT is rude in itself. Mom needs as little to deal with as possible. We’ve all thrown birthday parties and it is time consuming, stressful, and can be quite a financial burden. Having to make last second trips to the store is NOT fun. The parents would LIKE to stay and have fun, too.
    And, not to mention available space (if at the home).
    And, for crying out loud — don’t just bring the sibling(s) anyway. That is a horrible lack of courtesy. I mean, what is the mom going to say with little Johnny standing next you?
    In short — I don’t believe bringing the invitees siblings, or entire family, is proper or respectful at all. Poor etiquette choice.

  40. Brandy Milburn Ranly November 5, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    I have a 10 year old son and 7 year old daughter. I’ve thrown birthday parties at the park and in my home and my family’s homes. I haven’t rented a birthday party place before but am considering to do so as I feel I owe my daughter a good big birthday party. The best parties we’ve been to are the ones thrown by the Mexican community. They have a piñata for each child ( lovely twin girls at one place) and they served authentic Mexican food that was amazing. They have the party outside at their home and did I mention that even being only 1 of three Caucasian families didn’t bother us at all. Everyone was friendly and kind. They didn’t mind at all that my son had come as well ( The girls were actually closer to his age, they’d invited my daughter though) and I’d messaged ahead of time to make sure when I r.s.v.p.’d (?). I’ve attended birthday parties thrown at the bowling alley, pool inside and outside, skating rink, movie theater, Chuckey cheese, McDonald’s, bouncy house places ect.. and the kids had more fun running and playing in backyards and wacking the piñata or the park/playground than any of the other extravagantly themed well put together party. Being able to accept siblings is actually a good thing, much better than having a strict guest list. I actually only came across this post looking for good ideas that wouldn’t break the bank. Our park shuts down this time of year to put up lights and they’re closed for kids to play.

  41. Teressa Wilson March 17, 2018 at 5:33 am

    Actually yes, that’s fine that they at least asked you before. This is really this silliest question. Now I’m from Arizona born and raised most of my life. I’m 25 now and and have 4 kids. Out there it’s considered bad manners. I have nosed to Indiana to be with my spouse when we left college and out here it’s a given. When you invite a kid you get the whole family. I don’t think that’s rude at all. The more the marrier, now if they would RSVP and just showed up and there wasn’t enough food or what ever I would feel and but I always put rsvp so that’s on them. But even with my up bringing, I still feel like you should tell them they have to pay for the extra kid themselves but that they are more then welcome to have them. Kids don’t see other kids getting to do things they don’t as oh that’s their friend not mine (kids of all ages can hang out, have a blast, and kindle a friendship)

  42. Lalani April 29, 2019 at 2:03 pm

    You should throw the party at a location that you dont have to pay per head. Like your back yard if he is a spring or summer baby as long as it isnt raining or in the church fellowship/banquet hall or a rec room. I see nothing wrong with siblings of the invitees attending the party and partocipating in the festivities. The parent being there with the kid rather than dropping off is a plus because you have 2 extra hands on deck to help with the festivities and the siblings as well if they are alot older like 7 8 9 or 10. For those of you saying its rude its not rude it happens especially if you are a single parent.

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