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Fear of Abandonment Resurfacing

Home Forums Parenting Kindergarten & School Age Fear of Abandonment Resurfacing

This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Macy Macy 5 years, 12 months ago.

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  • #21848
    Profile photo of Mary
    Mary
    Participant

    So my 5 year old is starting to panic every time I’m out of the room for more than a few seconds again.  We went through this for what felt like years when she was younger and finally conquered it.  Last time I basically had to tell her my every move and if I went into another room, I had to give her constant updates.  We were good for awhile but it started back up again.  Last night she was up until 10 because she had to keep "checking" on me that I didn’t leave the house.  And during bath time, I went to grab her pj’s and put them in our room (and did nothing else so we’re talking 30 seconds) and she came running out of the bathroom fully panicked that I left.  I’ve never left her and while I’ve tried to remind her of that and reassure her, it’s not helping.  Short of giving her a play by play of my every step once again does anyone have any tips?  Does anyone think this could be related to her going to kindergarten in the fall?  She is THRILLED and can’t wait but everyone tells me the transition will be hard.  Is this what they mean?

    #21850
    Profile photo of Macy
    Macy
    Member

    Does this behavior happen when your daughter is away from you (at daycare, at a relatives house, at a friend’s house) or just when you are home, but not physically in the same room? If it’s happening everywhere, some kind of reward system might be worth trying. You could use a sticker chart and your daughter could earn a new sticker every time she is "brave" and is able to be on her own. Once she gets a certain amount of stickers, she can trade them in for a prize. This worked for me nephew when he was having some separation anxiety issues.

    #21851
    Profile photo of Nala
    Nala
    Member

    My daughter has experienced some separation anxiety on and off over the years that has typically come in phases. Usually it’s happened when she’s not with me, like when she is at school. What has helped her is to have some sort of "lovey" to hold onto during these times when she’s feeling anxious or sad. I think this method could work at home or away from home. A favorite stuffed animal has often been a lifesaver! We talk about how she can hug her bear if she’s feeling sad. In my experience, these phases have never lasted more than a few weeks at a time. Best of luck!

    #21852
    Profile photo of Nala
    Nala
    Member

    My daughter has experienced some separation anxiety on and off over the years that has typically come in phases. Usually it’s happened when she’s not with me, like when she is at school. What has helped her is to have some sort of "lovey" to hold onto during these times when she’s feeling anxious or sad. I think this method could work at home or away from home. A favorite stuffed animal has often been a lifesaver! We talk about how she can hug her bear if she’s feeling sad. In my experience, these phases have never lasted more than a few weeks at a time. Best of luck!

    #21853

    I know I’m late to this discussion, and I hope it’s resolved for you, but is it possible that your daughter has read some scary stories, been told frightening things by other kids or inadvertently seen something in the news that’s causing her to be fearful? It could be anything from something obvious like a story about a kidnapping, to something about a health scare, to even some seemingly benign expression or sarcastic expression like "I’d die if I had to wear that in public!" She may not be willing to tell you, but at her age, it’s a good possibility that something gave her a reason to be fearful that she may be separated from you.

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