Father’s Day: Rebuilding a Relationship with My Dad
I’m in a craft drought right now, so since I’ve bared my soul about my relationship with my sister, let’s take on my dad today. My parents are divorced and I am a child of one of those messy 80s divorces where the parents never talked to each other. Still don’t. In fact, they are both planning to visit at different points this weekend and I’m stressed about how to not have their visits overlap. It’s kind of annoying – actually it’s really annoying. But, it is what it is and now some 25 years later, I’ve learned to deal. Although, isn’t it a little crazy that they haven’t?
That said, I’ll be honest. During the whole divorce thing, I sided with my mom, who is literally my best friend in the world. She would do anything for me and I her. My Dad wronged her and I knew it (he admitted it) and I was mad because I felt like he left us, not her. My parents took us to family counseling where we were supposed to work those things out but I’m pretty sure my sister, brother and I just looked at the lady with blank stares for most of the time.
A totally embarrassing side note, but one that might lighten up this post a bit is that in the months after he moved out, I used to sit in my living room and listen to Chicago records and think about my Dad leaving us. I was in fifth grade and clearly these songs were not about a relationship between a father and daughter, but I didn’t know any better. So, with my broken heart, I used to sit and sing “Hard Habit to Break” over and over. You remember the Chorus? Now being without you takes a lot of getting used to, I’ve learned to live with it. But I don’t want to… To this day when I hear that song, I think of my dad. But the funniest part is that I can totally see C. doing the exact same thing. I always say that I was never dramatic like her but that one crazy memory makes me rethink our similarities. I guess I was a little dramatic too.
At any rate, my Dad and I were never that close when I was young. We drifted even further after I left for college and he moved hours away. When my husband’s dad died about 10 years ago, I decided enough was enough and made it my mission to re-build my relationship with my own dad. And I did. I love it now that we are closer than ever. I talk to him at least once a week, sometimes more. We have way more in common than I ever thought we did and I actually look forward to spending time with him. And this year for the first time in at least 15 years, I will be spending Father’s Day with my dad. And my kids will get to be with their grandpa. I have to say, I’m really happy about it. So, while he definitely doesn’t read blogs, or even know what a blog is, Happy Father’s Day, dad. I can’t wait to see you!
- E-family news: The Art of Fatherhood — Parenting Tips for Modern Dads
- E-family news: Parenting Through Divorce
- Bright Horizons Online Community: Explaining Divorce to Children
- Read more posts about Father’s Day from the Family Room blogger