Finding A Lump
It was just an annual OB/GYN exam – nothing was bothering me or worrying me above the norm. My doctor spent about 60 seconds on both breasts and immediately found something. A lump.
My doctor said he could aspirate it right there so I would know for sure it was nothing. He was pretty confident it was a cyst. My dad is a retired OB/GYN and this doctor is a good friend, someone my dad trusts, so I was totally okay with my OB’s suggestion. He told the nurse to get a nine gauge needle. It didn’t really hurt. But alas, he couldn’t get enough fluid to test. The very little he got was clear though, a good sign. And yes, there was blood. He wanted to do an ultrasound.
He assured me not to worry. He said “You don’t have cancer…” He said it several times. “We are just being careful to make sure.” I got to the front desk and the next thing I knew I was booked for a mammogram three weeks later. After I left, I called my sister, my dad and a good friend (who recently kicked cancer in the butt). All I asked was, “Should I insist on an earlier appointment?” Did I really have to stew on this for three weeks through Christmas and New Years? I then brought my husband, who was travelling for work, up to speed that the doctor “found something.”
48 hours (and a few phone calls) later I got a mammogram, which showed nothing, but the lump was definitely there so next up was an ultrasound. The ultrasound technician couldn’t located the lump. She could feel it but she couldn’t find it via ultrasound. She called in the physician on duty to double check. He didn’t do much, just watched the technician to confirm no lump was coming up before sending me on my way. He told me that women’s breasts have lots of nodes and nodules and that I should just watch it for growth or pain. And that was that. I got dressed and went home, breathing a sigh of relief. Back to thinking of Christmas, just six days away.
A few days later, I was enjoying dinner with friends. The phone rang and my husband said it was my doctor’s office. My heart stopped. It was indeed my doctor who confirmed what I had already been told by at the ultrasound. However, he had a different recommendation of what to do next. Come back in six weeks for a re-check and if the lump is still present, he would remove it. Just to be safe.
So what now? I plan to follow my doctor’s orders, but not dwell on it. There is nothing to indicate that I have anything to be worried about – everything is just precautionary and being cautious is never a bad thing. And frankly…breast cancer? Screw that. I’ve already decided I am not going down due to breast cancer. I have too much else to juggle, including a 7 year old daughter and 4 year old son who absolutely need their mom healthy.
I’ve read up a little bit on FAQ’s and statistics and this is one time that the internet has squelched any fears. If anything, this has made me more aware of how fragile life is and how quickly things can change, so I’m focused on enjoying the moment, cherishing my family and perhaps stealing a few extra snuggles when I can.
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