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How do parents make friends?

Mid-30’s couple with two children seeking companion family. 2 children or more preferred, special needs experience a plus. Must love music, mornings at the playground (indoors or out), watching sports (live or in person) and the occasional glass of wine or dinner out. Must share parenting values and live in close proximity to our town.

Don’t you wish someone would create a Match.com for families? A place where you could go, plug in some stats about yourself and your kids, then be presented with a list of potential families to court and become friends with? Green Dad and I have been noticing how we hardly ever socialize with other families or our friends anymore. It’s not that we don’t want to, it’s just that we don’t have similar lifestyles. We have friends that are married without kids, so usually getting together with them requires a babysitter. We have friends who have children, but the ages don’t match up that well to the ages of our kids, and they live almost an hour away from us. There is a family in our neighborhood, but their parenting styles don’t match up so playdates consist of my oldest moving around their house like the Tasmanian Devil while their son gets upset because his elaborate train track set ups are being demolished. There are some families we have become friendly with, but they only have children the same age as our youngest son, so my oldest is always the odd man out.

Maybe it’s this long, snowy winter we’re having in New England, but we’re beginning to feel very isolated. We crave interactions with other families to help us get through the weekends and to commiserate with. So if anyone is looking for their familial soul mates, please contact us here…photos not necessary.

7 comments

  1. Sandy February 15, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Yes! Family personal ads sound wonderful right about now.

    We moved to a new state 5 years ago and then just as we were getting to know people in our neighborhood we ended up moving again. I found out I was pregnant six days after we moved in. We know no one nearby. My husband and I each travel 45 minutes in opposite directions for work so there aren’t even work friends nearby. Add to that we have an odd hobby (we’re medieval enthusiasts). I would love to have playdates for our son but I just don’t know how to find us friends!

  2. Jen February 15, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Ugh. I feel your pain! Winter in Massachusetts has been brutal this year. Our family also struggles with finding (and keeping) friends. We have one family we adore -but they live an hour away. Besides working full time, which leaves little time or energy for socializing, I’m shy and I have little in common with the moms in our neighborhood. (It’s Stepford-ish -and I’m out of place as a full time attorney and all about video games and Star Wars). I’m grateful that our boys have made good friends at school – but sometimes I wish I had someone other than my husband to talk to!

  3. Kerstin February 16, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    And now imagine you are not the typical Mom in your mid-30’s, you are in your mid-40’s, you are German and you have a 14 month old. I feel like an alien even in playgroups I attend. And not like an foreigner-alien (which I am), more like an outer-space-alien…
    I really thought it would be easier to find other parents to meet with.
    Luckily I am still working 3 days/week and get to talk to other people there.

  4. Kris February 23, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    I came across this blog on the BH facebook page. I actually work for Bright Horizons and this was an issue with some of my parents. At one point I had a lot of parents that were first time parents and either moved to our state because of a job or were from overseas where all of their family were left behind. They actually made friends with other moms in our classroom. But most of them found families with children the same age or close in age from different classes that they took their child to (i.e. Mommy & me Yoga, dance class, music classes & free events at the library).

  5. Meredith Magee Donnelly August 27, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    Hi, I just saw your comment on Out and About Mom. I would love for you to update your readers that I have launched a business called Homegrown Friends which is a playgroup matching service for parents and children 0-3. For more information please visit http://www.homegrownfriends.com or email me at info@homegrownfriends.com.

    Best,

    Meredith Magee Donnelly, MS, Ed
    Founder, Homegrown Friends

  6. Laura June 19, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    I feel for Kerstin, even though I am not from another country. It appears to be difficult to find families to fit in with if there are differences in age, place/country of origin, and marital status. I am a single, working mom, 50 and have an 11-year-old daughter. The age differential is not that much of a problem, but the single-parent-issue seems to be a huge hurdle for finding a comfortable place in the community and finding friends. Even leading a troop of girl scouts cannot seem to overcome this hurdle. If anybody has other hints, I would love to hear them.

  7. Jennifer Whyte December 4, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    Your wish is my command! 😉 I cofounded MomieGo – a match.com for parents friends! Check it out if you’re still searching for your parent-tribe. Love your blog! xo Mama Jen https://momiegoapp.com

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