How do you explain to your kids what “sexy” means
My daughter was in a talent show at her elementary school on Friday. It was one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. Dozens of kids from kindergarten through fourth grade showed off with talents ranging from concert-quality cello performances to comedy routines to a recitation of the elements on the periodic table. But more than anything, there were dance acts. Lots of dance acts — my daughter’s included. Three of those dance acts were Gangnam Style routines. They were very cute, and one performed by two kindergarten boys was especially good. But now all the kids in the class are singing “Eh, sexy lady” non-stop. Some parents are horrified, some are non-plussed. I am simply perplexed. How do I explain to my daughter what “sexy” is and why it’s not okay to sing it at her skating lessons, in the grocery store, or even at home.
I walked into this kindergarten thing knowing my daughter would start to be exposed to pop-culture, and while I want to keep things appropriate, I also don’t want to shelter her excessively. She’s pretty understanding when it comes to what’s appropriate and what’s not, but I feel I owe her an explanation about why, and on this one I’m stumped. Her teacher said the kids have been singing “Eh, sexy lady” in class, and what she tells them is that “it’s not a bad word, but it’s not a kindergarten word” and she doesn’t want to hear it in class. That’s effective for her, but at home I feel obliged to answer “why?” I’ve had lots of friends run into this same issue, but none who’ve dealt with it with much success. One even answered it in such a way that her daughter came home proclaiming that her 60-year-old well endowed Sunday School teacher was “really sexy.”
I feel much better equipped to explain sex than I do to explain sexy. Tell your child sexy means attractive or beautiful and it’s an adult word, and soon enough you own son will be telling you, in his loudest voice, in the middle of the mall, “Mommy, you’re so sexy.” Not exactly the result you were probably looking for. Tell them it’s a bad word, and they may develop an anxiety complex because of how ubiquitous it is.
If you have a good solution, PLEASE share it here. Because there are some mamas who could really use some advice.