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List of “Wife Rules”: A Valentine’s Day Reminder

List of “Wife Rules”: A Valentine’s Day Reminder

I recently came across this cute and funny list of 30 boyfriend rules written by two little girls. There is so much I adore about this list – so innocent (doesn’t pick his nose) yet mature (marry someone who respects you). As I read through it for the upteenth time, I was reminded how I’ve been planning ways to make my children’s Valentine’s Day special and sort of forgetting about the love of my life. 

My husband and I rarely celebrate Valentine’s Day (even prior to having children). We both are perfectly content showering love on the kids instead. Lately, however, the realities of life as working parents has impacted our relationship. Often we are putting the kids’ needs ahead of our own. So, in the spirit of the cute list from the girls, I thought I’d share with myself a reminder of how I can be a better wife.

Here is my list of “wife rules” (Using this phrase lightly in the spirit of the girls’ note and not trying to set the women’s movement back 60 years).

“Wife Rules” for a Healthy, Loving Relationship

They Said: Nice hand writing
I Say: Write hand written love notes and surprise him when he least expects it

They Said: Cuteness
I Say: Do cute things like hold hands and wink at each other (no matter how embarrassed your kids are)

They Said: Like parents
I Say: Love in-laws (or at least like)

They Said: Not living with parents
I Say: Never live with in-laws

They Said: Good manners
I Say: Say thank you for all the little things (like those mouse traps in the basement – thanks, dear)

They Said: Good artist
I Say: Respect his creative “repairs” no matter how silly they seem

They Said: Dresses well
I Say: Simply say thanks when he dresses the kids no matter what the outfits look like

They Said: Takes you to nice places
I Say: Plan date nights, get them on the calendar, and don’t cancel

They Said: Likes children/ wants children
I Say: Love his children with all you have

They Said: Nice jewelry
I Say: Accept his gifts no matter how impractical they may seem at the time

They Said: Listens
I Say: Listen

They Said: Don’t pick your nose
I Say: Pretend you didn’t see him pick his nose

They Said: No kissing on first date
I Say: Never leave the house without a kiss

They Said: Marry someone who respects you
I Say: Respect him

They Said: Smart
I Say: Respect his smart phone privacy

They Said: Good cook
I Say: Love his cooking even when it’s breakfast for dinner, again

They Said: Has a good job
I Say: Ask him about his work and passions

They Said: Always happy
I Say: Laugh together (those nightly toddler tantrums are awfully funny once the kids are in bed)

They Said: Clean
I Say: The cleaning can wait if there is something fun to do (like impromptu family ski days)

They Said: Respect different religions
I Say: Respect all his beliefs (maybe Jerry Garcia was a really talented musician)

They Said: Last name not weird
I Say: Teach your kids how to defend themselves when someone teases them about their last name (this happened to me recently, for real)

They Said: Very fun
I Say: Put fun first

They Said: Makes you laugh
I Say: Laugh at those silly things he teaches the kids (ahem, how to make fart noises with a bike pump)

They Said: Eats healthier
I Say: Surprise him with ice cream (get yourself some too)

They Said: Takes care of body
I Say: Take walks together and hold hands

They Said: Doesn’t tattle tale
I Say: Keep the sordid details of your last disagreement off social media

They Said: Brushes teeth and flosses
I Say: Accept that morning breath happens

They Said: Likes YOUR job
I Say: Share about your work and passions

They Said: Take care of pet
I Say: Accept all his “pet” projects and hobbies

I need to get working on these because there are many “rules” on this list that I’m breaking quite often. How about you? What are your Valentine’s Day reminders for your love?



  1. Heather February 14, 2014 at 8:38 am

    Thanks for the list of spouse reminders…just what I needed today! I think I’ll plan a date night now.

  2. Bridget February 18, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    Great post Amy!

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