A friend posted this article on Facebook last week and it really struck a chord with me. The focus on money and being able to afford to give multiple children what they want monetarily really left a bad taste in my mouth. What I kept wondering (while rolling my eyes) while I was reading it was whether or not I should have considered money and whether I could afford my second child before having him.
Getting pregnant with him happened a bit earlier than expected, and we did have to make some adjustments to our finances, mainly going back to work full time vs. only working 3 days a week like I was doing. That decision was based on the fact that I did not want to stay home full time, so with part time child care premiums at my child care center compared to my salary, it was the better choice for me to go back to work full time. I know that if I only had one child we could probably afford many more things, or save more money for his schooling and future (and ours) but I know that I would rather have more children. It’s what is right for my family.
ANYWAY, this friend was posing the question of how he would ever have as much time to spend with a potential second child as he does with his first. Simply put, he won’t. I compared it to the fact that you have less time to spend with your spouse once you have a child (or more than one). You know it’s going to happen, but that doesn’t make having a child the wrong thing to do. I remember very clearly that one of the first phrases M repeated while learning to talk was “in a minute” shortly after his brother was born and after I rejoiced that he repeated a phrase, I cried because I really thought about what he actually said. I realized how often I must say that to him. However, now that B is a year old, there is much less “in a minute”, and much more standing just outside the door listening to them laugh and wrestle. I think they are learning the game of give and take, patience (though that is a slow process) and friendship.
I’m curious what others think. Do you think it matters how far apart your children are? If the older one is more independent, say 5 years old or so, do you think that makes the time/money crunch easier?