Pregnancy Planning – Expectations Vs. Reality
Our post today is from Aili Smith, a Bright Horizons employee and first-time mom to baby, Cab:
PREPARING FOR PREGNANCY EXPECTATIONS
I didn’t have to wait for the “nesting thing” to kick in during my pregnancy. Nesting wasn’t just a 9 month long process for me; it began years earlier when my husband and I started trying for a baby. The idea of nesting fit right into my wheelhouse, I love planning things out, being informed when making decisions and researching & learning new things.
Like most people, I get attached to an idea I have carefully planned for so many years. By the time we got pregnant, I was far along with my pregnancy planning. I had my dream stroller picked out, an overpriced blender for all the homemade baby food I was going to make, a plan for sleep training my little guy and started preparing emotionally for my baby.
WHEN PREGNANCY PLANS DON’T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN
As a hyper-planner (did I just coin a new term?), I am aware that things sometimes do not go as originally planned, but, in my mind, being flexible was as easy as researching alternatives and having a solid backup plan.
The doctor accidentally telling you the sex of your baby at an ultrasound? A happy surprise! The Pinterest-perfect crib you wanted is really a pain to do? I had it covered! Inducing labor at 37 weeks? Not a problem–I was ready! I found out quickly though, in parenthood, sometimes the original and backup plans were not really viable options and that stinks.
In those instances, I learned that I have to let go. Trust me when I say it, the idea of letting go is easy to type but actually very hard for me to do. Did you know that approximately 2% of new moms don’t make enough milk for their babies? Me neither, until my newborn started to lose weight when he was supposed to be gaining it. I quickly learned that letting go of my dream of breastfeeding, the thing I had planned for so long, was the adaptation of my backup plan.
I realized adapting my plan didn’t have to mean stopping breastfeeding my son, it was just making nursing our special time together in addition to his regular feedings of formula. Sometimes adaption means the end of something, but it doesn’t have to be. Sleepless nights with my newborn provided me time to do the research needed to plan out my backup’s “backup” plan and when our pediatrician told me that she used the same formula in their family, I felt like my researching paid off.
Letting go as a new parent is hard. Whether you’re a super-planner like me or not, remember it is something that you’re not alone in doing. I encourage you to not think of your plan as failed if it doesn’t work out the way you intended, but instead allow your backup (or backup’s backup!) plan to become the new plan and don’t fear change.
LETTING GO OF THE “PERFECT PREGNANCY” DREAM MAKES SPACE FOR NEW DREAMS
So what type of things are you researching for your little one? I am on a convertible car seat & first birthday kick right now since I realized the other day that I only have 8 months to plan!
I am Aili, a first-time mom and lover of cloth diapers and cute baby fashion. As an avid bargain shopper who will stand in line to snag the right deal, if I’m not searching out an outfit for my little man, you can find me in the home décor. I am excited to share with you all my mishaps and successes as I navigate this thing called parenting.