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Waiting for the Kindergarten Class List

Waiting for the Kindergarten Class List
Junie B. Jones, First Day of Kindergarten

I need something more than Junie B. Jones to get me ready for Kindergarten

I feel like I’m in high school again and I’m waiting for those college acceptance letters. But this time it’s not a letter about my educational future I’m expecting. It’s my daughter’s Kindergarten class list — the one that will tell us who her teacher will be and whether she’ll be flying solo, or if she’ll have a friend or two in her class. I’m checking the mail first thing every day when I get home. Two days ago there was fat envelope in the mail pile. It had the town seal on it. Our address was handwritten. The day had come! I nearly skipped out of my skin. But it was all a cruel trick. Turns out it was just the new recycling schedule from the Department of Public Works (what they’re doing hand addressing envelopes like this is a question for another day…) This morning a friend excitedly announced her son’s list had arrived yesterday. They live in the town next door. I’m thinking we need to move. I can’t take the suspense much longer. We’re going on vacation next week. If it doesn’t arrive before we leave, I think I’m going to have to hire a house sitter just to check the mail. I just called my husband, who works from home, to see if anything had come today. It hasn’t. UGH.

What is wrong with me? My daughter is the one suffering the real pressures. My normally resolute child has suddenly become Little Miss Sensitive, collapsing into a puddle of tears at the slightest provocation. It’s understandable. She’s about to leave a group of friends she has spent her entire life with.  She’s about to head off to school without her little brother, every day (and just wait until he realizes that, oy!). She’s about to leave the teachers she loves. She’s going to have to make new friends, find her way around a new building. She’s going to be starting something big for the first time since she was 4 months old. It’s making me cry just writing about.

And I guess that’s what’s wrong with me. That’s why I want that class list so much. I think we’re both so sad about what we’re about to leave behind, that I need something tangible I can hang on to — to be excited about — for the new chapter to come.  I need a distraction, I need information, I need a Zantac, and I need that class list, gosh darn it!

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