Trying to Slow Down
I am stunned that we are half-way through the summer already. I took the longest vacation of my life (10 days) a few weeks ago during which I had explicit instructions from my daughter to not use my computer. So I didn’t. At all. I never watch TV on vacation and for a few days I couldn’t even find my phone, so I was really disconnected. We truly relaxed with no responsibility or pull to do anything that felt like work. I didn’t love being disconnected as much as I loved being present for my daughters. They are old enough now to catch me when they know I’m multi-tasking and not really listening to them and I am really working on being present and focused when it’s family-time. It’s not just work that keeps me distracted. My whole extended family is made up of mad texters. It’s maddening. (ha ha)
But my girls are growing up so fast and I feel like I am going to regret being such a distracted lunatic. It’s making me sick to my stomach. I feel like days and weeks go by and I am struggling to re-claim time with them. I see my friends with older children and I just want to bottle up these days when my girls run to me when I get home from work. They are so excited to see me. I know it’s fleeting. I had such high expectations for this summer and what we would do and I feel like I’m not making the most of it. In all the flurry to get this one to camp, this one to the doctor and visit with people I love and cherish but who live so far away that it feels like planning a trip just to catch up, I’m already feeling like I never had a 10-day vacation. I am really longing for the days when summer felt like an eternity with nothing to do and I am saying my prayers every night that someone will just invent that *&(&*#*% teleporter from the Jetsons already so that I could see everyone and do everything I want to before school starts.